Based in HOTLANTA, GA, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME is a blog by A SEVERELY SINGLE (but sexy) FEMALE. Her posts explore PERSONAL ENCOUNTERS WITH MAMA'S BOYS, SEMI-GROWN ASS MEN, SEXY STRANGERS AND OF COURSE YOUR CLASSIC FUCK BOY.

Mr. Flex - PART 1

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Is anyone here familiar with Sex and the City? All of you sexy bitches better be raising your hands or nodding your heads.  Well this is not Mr. Big.

Background info
Mr. Flex is in his 30s and not an Atlanta native.  He is an executive at a pretty big company, and I'm sure it goes hand-in-hand with his pretty big ego. He travels often for work and loves popping pills to take the edge off.  Sounds like a winner already!  He is tall, well built and tbh (to be honest) pretty sexy.  He's well spoken, can definitely dress, current with the times and we have the same taste in music.  He is your typical bad boy/fuck boy.  (Crack for an independent queen who has no business dating these self absorbed sociopaths)

How did we meet?
We met on a dating app that shall not be named. (no it was not tinder)

What Happened?
Mr. Flex asked to take me out for drinks.  I agreed to meet with him initially but (DO NOT JUDGE ME BASED ON WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU) I asked to take a rain check.  Why, you ask?  Well I happened to be talking to another gentleman on the same dating app and he was driving into Atlanta from another state and asked to take me out to dinner ON THE SAME DAY (he does not live in ATL and I will talk more about him in a later post).  We ended up making plans for another week. 

A few days prior to the date I received a phone call from Mr. Flex.  He said he found it weird to go on a first date with someone without hearing their voice prior to.... sounds like a corporate america thing (fucking weird). He was on a business trip and alone in his hotel room about to go eat dinner at the hotel bar by himself. He kept the convo short and sweet, he sounded like a real charmer on the phone.

My GBF (gay best friend) at the time accompanied me to the location of the date to have a "pre-date" drink with me to steady my nerves. (THIS WAS NOT A SMOOTH MOVE, DO NOT DO THIS!).  My GBF barely escaped without being seen since he was hiding behind a wall near the men's bathroom.  The location of the date was the St.Regis Bar. [Side note: The St. Regis bar is known to have some interesting patrons after a certain hour.  Think about retired silver foxes and undercover street walkers]

Our conversation started out with work and how our days went (as most do) and we quickly moved to the topic of Family. Turns out we have similar backgrounds.  Absent biological fathers, raised by single mothers and siblings who are still coping with the mental turmoil years later.  The conversation got pretty heavy... like 0-100 real quick and I think we both recognized that this isn't where a first date should go so we decided to cut the convo and have dinner.

Dinner was at an old favorite of mine. Found out we both appreciate good food.  We decided to share some plates together but this is where is got kind of fucking weird.  He made me taste the dishes in a specific order (after him of course) so we could compare notes. I don't know about you ladies but when I'm hungry I just dig in (after taking my food pics) and then I'll reflect once the meal is done.  I kind of sensed control issues tbh.  There was a point in the meal where I had to use the ladies room, I almost busted my ass when I was walking back (5 inch heels and a greasy tile floor = impending lawsuit) and to my luck he saw LOL.  Towards the end of the meal my good friend texted me about a reservation at a speakeasy they could not make it to.  I asked Mr. Flex if he was interested in going (he clearly had not heard about this place before because he referenced the sign in front of the secret entrance (what you get when you pull up the place in a google search).

We go to the speakeasy (its within walking distance).  I must say I love this place and it was not my first time there.  [side note: another guy I dated once said it reminded him of an upscale dimly lit basement that played old school hip hop] 

He loved it. So now you know what kind of music we both like haha.  I introduced him to my favorite truffle cocktail and he surprisingly picked out my favorite dessert there.  This is where my inner hot mess express buckled under the pressure of having too many cocktails. I not only knocked over my entire drink, I also got chocolate syrup on his white shirt LOL. FML. WALL OF SHAME. He asked me what I was doing later (at that point we had been on a date for almost 4 hours).  I told him I had to go pick my cousin up at the club and he had mentioned his friends were there also.  He suggested that we go but I opted not to.  Meeting friends on the same night?? no bueno. This was turning into a marathon date. 

It did not end there.....
We retrieved both our cars from valet but this guy insisted I sit in his car while we were waiting for them to pull up mine. Homeboy drives up onto this low median (where they usually put show cars) and I am mortified.  I yelled "what are you doing?!?!?" and he responds with "I'm a grown-ass man and I do what I want". WTF. Anyways... We ended up back at his place. DONT WORRY NO FUNNY BUSINESS HAPPENED. We talked about music and life for a good bit on his couch before we both passed out..... I know! MARATHON DATE. I woke up an hour later from his snoring and 15 million texts from my cousin and my crew asking where the fuck I am.  We hugged, kissed and said our goodbyes.

Ohhhh Mr. Flex you are so weird.

 

Lord of the Dance